A girl’s guide to seduction

By Meenakshi Shankar

 

It’s girl power all the way. So why should it always be the man who has to take the initiative in sex and be responsible for the pleasure of his partner?

 

You don't have to be a walking sex manual or be a Pamela Anderson look alike to qualify to be an erotic enchantress. Ask a man and he would say, “It doesn’t hurt…does it!”

But, findings read that if you indeed have to manipulate a man’s sensitive organ, then the titillation point starts and ends with his brain. More than your technique, it is your attitude that will enable you to cast a spell and hold your man in sexual thrall. Capture a man's imagination - and his body is yours.

 

Quite frankly, men are tired of always feeling responsible for the pleasure of passive partners.

 

They long for a self-confident seductress who is willing to take charge!

 

They long for a combination of a kitten and tigress.

 

You cannot blame a couple for falling into the sexual rut. The same old tried and tested routines becomes monotonous! The zing goes out of the relationship; little realizing that relationships are all about zing and much more. So, whilst it may be ok to fantasize in private, when it comes to sharing the space with their partners, they tend to walk the safe path.  So, when they see their women walking down a thin line between being coy and naughty, it’s enough to kick start their dormant libidos. There’s a kick in the gut…they can taste something new in the offing.

 

Making a few bold suggestions or picking a new, naughty place to make love can work wonders.

 

Create the right environment
Bodily atmosphere is the best tool for seduction. Avoid noisy, crowded and distracting place.

 

Take your loved one for dinner and listen to soft music. If you are not in a mood for a noisy restaurant, create an ambience in your living area. Candles and soft music should set the mood.

 

Smell great
Countless surveys have shown that the majority of men said that the scent of a woman made them even more attractive. Do a little research and find a fragrance your man likes. Once he smells you, all hopes of resistance will fly out the window.

 

Surprise him
Perhaps join him in the shower one morning when he isn’t expecting it. Offer to wash his hair and back for him. Nothing like sharing a shower to get the day going - besides it’s better for the environment.

 

Be playful and fun
Men are like big kids! There are many games for partners to play. You could choose a board game or even dice. Make up your own set of rules that add a bit of adult appeal.

 

Flirt
You can flirt with him in many ways. Look vulnerable by blinking your eyes and make him feel you are hard to get. Slightly touch him on the wrist and shoulders while talking funny. Always give your perspective instead of nodding your head continually in any conversation.

 

Let him chase
Now, back off a little. While seducing men, it is necessary to remember that they like the game of chasing and you need to let them enjoy it. However, do not become so cold that they start thinking of pulling away.

 

Feel sexy
Confidence has been found to be a key ingredient when seducing a man. Spend a day pampering yourself and walking the ‘sexy and sensuous’ path. Go to the spa; get a bikini wax or get a new hairstyle. Whatever it takes to make you feel sexy all over. The effects will be noticeable right away!

 

Use your imagination
Be daring and different. This is a great way to seduce him because neither of you would expect you to do something like that. If you can’t use your imagination to come up with ideas, Go online or pick up your favorite girlie magazine to help you get your creative juices flowing. 

Sex improves male's sexual longevity

Mating with a female can boost the male's sexual longevity by a dramatic 20 percent, according to a study.

 

A team, headed by Ralph Brinster, of the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine, found that male mice housed with females maintained fertility levels until 32 months - a six-month increase in fertility over solitary males.

 

The study also concluded that once fertility began to decrease, the rate of decrease was the same for both groups of males. The decline in fertility appeared to be due in part to defects in the sperm production process.

 

Researchers postulated that a female housed with a male mouse delays reproductive ageing by affecting the cells surrounding the stem cells that produce spermatozoa in the testes, said a Pennsylvania release.

 

The effect on the environment of the sprematogonial stem cells likely occurs through the male's endocrine and nervous systems, the scientists theorised. "Whether this female influence occurs in other species is not known," Brinster noted.

 

If the effect is found to extend to other species, however, the authors point out that a 20 percent increase in male fertility could mean an extension of the male reproductive life span of years for various livestock animals and even decades for some large endangered species.

 

The study appears online in Biology of Reproduction.

 

Source: Indo-Asian News Service

 

Scents to Seduce your lover

It's often said that love is blind, but if I were to take a page of a science research, it would tell me that scent is responsible for seduction. And here we thought it was all about saucy underwear and nibbly lingerie.

By Meenakshi Shankar

Scents are also gender specific - keeping that in mind, find out how to cast a fragrant spell that will enchant your lover into a tender, loving trap. When it comes to seducing your man,
scientific tests reveal they become aroused at the scents of pumpkin, vanilla and cinnamon. To intrigue a man, warm a drop or two of those essential oils in a saucepan to leave him weak in the knees. And i If you're trying to seduce a woman, the recipe is simpler. The fragrance of black licorice will trip her trigger. Try star anise essential oil or boiling black licorice and water in a saucepan before she arrives.

Whenever working with essential oils, using only a couple of drops is key. They're potent and too much will literally repel. If essential oils aren't your scene, then reach out for scented candles.

Fire signs will be inflamed by:

Juniper - a stimulating erotic scent that wafts away negativity.

Frankincense - a potent scent known for its ability to open spiritual channels of ecstasy.

Ginger - a spicy, seductive scent that inflames sensuality.

Earth signs will swoon for:

Rosemary - a fresh stimulating scent that awakens devotion and undercurrents of eroticism.

Basil - a gentle scent that enlivens love and invigorates passion and fertility.

Lavender - a calming scent that enfolds the beloved with a sense of nurturance.

Air signs will go mad for:

Sandalwood - an ancient aphrodisiac that inspires experimentation. A perfect accompaniment to Tantra.

Cedarwood - inspires spirituality in eroticism and allows for a deep focus on one's partner.

Clary Sage - creates mental clarity, releases inhibitions and stimulates the erotic body.

Water signs will be transported into ecstasy by:

Jasmine is heady and exotic. It is used to capture, sustain or rekindle the affections of a loved one. It promises deep and lasting affection. It brings strength and warmth to a sexual relationship.

Orange blossoms - lifts the emotions and brings a sense of lightness and energy to lovers.

Ylang Ylang is an erotic scent that acts as a powerful aphrodisiac. It increases libido and enhances attraction between lovers. It can sooth the over anxious while boosting low energy. It opens emotions and promotes a more sensual and erotic experience during lovemaking.

To get the most from the seductive properties of scent, prepare a bath with essential oils and candlelight. If you draw a bath, remember to add only a couple of drops of oil. If your partner enjoys the sensation of silken bubbles, add a measure of bubble bath. Once you and your lover are soaked and relaxed, use a loofah to work up a lather and stimulate the skin. To incite trembles of delight afterward, gently stimulate erogenous areas with a sliver of ice.Then towel each other off, rub in a soothing cream and retire to the bedroom. If all goes well, you'll be making a mess of your clean scrubbed bodies in no time at all!

Love, Relationships and Dating

Here are some simple and effective tips that could redefine your concept of relationship to a greater extent.

1. Even if you are dating someone you know, it is best to meet him or her at a public place such as a park or a restaurant. A public place provides safety and security.

2. If you are familiar with your date, you should have an idea of his or hers likes and dislikes. Create a list of activities that you and your date would both love to do.

3. Remember that the date should be fun. Bring laughter into the conversation by bringing out your sense of humor through jokes. Make every activity light and happy.

4. Calling your date right after you went out together to say thanks is a more personal approach.

5. Do not appear too needy by talking to your date over the phone for hours. Keep the chat short and simple.

6. Do not let your nerves overpower you when talking to your date. If you have to, try practicing what you are going to say beforehand.

7. Even if your date doesn't see you, she would definitely appreciate if you are talking with a happy grin as it would come across the phone line.

8. Sending messages through your mobile phone are fun and convenient, but is easily misinterpreted.

9. Pleasant surprises are far better than defeated expectations. If the phone rings, let them leave a message and respond as soon as you are ready to call back.

10. If you said you call, do so, even if it is to let them down gently. Expecting a call that never comes is a worst thing that you can do to someone.

11. Just before calling it a day, try out an aromatic bath and spray on your own irresistible brand of perfume. Tempt him with a sexy smelling you.

12. Discover your sexy touch and lead her on with a head massage followed by a full body massage and don’t forget the sensual massage oils.

13. Tired of monotony? Surprise him with a sexy little dance of your own and pick up the laciest lingerie for it.

14. On a relaxed Sunday afternoon, cuddle up to him with the fragrance of freshly washed hair making sensual magic.

15. Do something naughty together like have an ice cream for dinner or have a shower together.

16. A cocktail at night or a coffee early morning, had together cuddled up between the sheets is sure to be bang on.

17. Wanna spend the day in the bed with your partner? Get dark drapes and red scarves to cover the lamps in your bedroom to strike the right note.

18. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together.

19. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

20. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don’t cling, as that can make your partner trapped.

21. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. By the same token, show interest when he talks to you. Be aware that most men aren’t mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

22. Make him appreciate you. Don’t wait for a spontaneous compliment, but say something good about yourself and ask for his agreement.

23. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each rude comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

24. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship---giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile.

25. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become annoying habits.

26. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. Remember that while men are wary of emotional conversations, they love to find solutions.

27. Learn that punishing your partner won’t work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually make him dig his heels in more.

28. Money is the main cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address finances and work out a budget.

29. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilize the whole family to share the work.

30. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with childcare –even if you feel he’s not as good as it at you are. It’s important to present a united front to your kids.

31. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.

32. Don’t assume you won’t be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don’t feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don’t think that an affair is the end of everything.

33. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you’re angry about.

34. Be aware that men feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he’s angry or tearful, half an hour’s ‘unflooding’ time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.

35. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn’t want to hear said to you.

36. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating.

37. Wearing provocative or inappropriate clothing risk making the wrong impression if you are going on a first date. Wear clothes that are appropriate to the venue, and at the same time your date would be familiar with.

Female orgasms linked to the size of man's wallet

Women are more likely to have orgasms when making love to a rich man, says a potentially controversial new study by British scientists.

“Women's orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” saidThomas Pollet, a psychologist atNewcastle University, who conducted the research.

He told The Sunday Times the phenomenon is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is built into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.

The newspaper said the study is potentially controversial because it suggests women are programmed to be gold-diggers.

Pollet and his co-author Daniel Nettle believe that the female orgasm is an evolutionary adaptation that drives women to choose and retain high-quality partners.

Using data from one of the world's biggest lifestyle studies, the Chinese Health and Family Life Survey, they found that money was one of the main factors behind how frequently women had orgasms - responses ranging from 'always' to 'rarely or never'.

“Increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women's self-reported frequency of orgasm. More desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms,” the newspaper quoted Pollet as saying.

The Chinese Survey targeted 5,000 people across the country for in-depth interviews about their personal lives, but previous research in Germany and America have also found that money is a more important factor than looks in orgasm frequency.

David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, who raised this question in his book "The Evolution of Desire", told the newspaper that orgasms could “serve as a signal that women are highly sexually satisfied, and hence unlikely to seek sex with other men”.

9 mantras to reclaim your sex life

1. Just go ahead with it: "It might sound silly, but just have more sex. Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it's hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect."

2. Connect with each other: "You can't just turn sex on when it's time to go to bed. You need to build that sense of connection."

3. Stay positive: "Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive. It's easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication."

4. Prioritise your relationship: "Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it's 11:30 pm and it's too late for sex. There's no urgent need to check your BlackBerry -- your relationship has to be a priority."

5. Adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle: "It's easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking. Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive, and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex."ANI

6. Reveal fantasies: "In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves. Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticising, express it in a sexy way."

7. Lend a helping hand: "A lot of women aren't interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes and men can't always appreciate that aspect. If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that's really important."

8. Be honest: "One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn't perfect -- guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in '08 you were saying something didn't matter, (maybe) it does in '09. Sex changes from year to year and '09 is a new year."

9. Create the right environment, "the love nest": "Put a little more energy into your surroundings. Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses."